it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
