i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
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