Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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