I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Randomize
