Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
My friends, they love my intelligence
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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