Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
