Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
