white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
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