when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
