I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
