They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Randomize
