He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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