I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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