maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize
