my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
