I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
