the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
