miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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