I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
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