Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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