is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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