Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
