can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize
