we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
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