i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize