her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
