Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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