So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
