ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
