wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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