Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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