How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
