i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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