There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
