Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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