Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
