haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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