How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
