I wish i was in the wii world.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
i drank out of a bidet.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
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