My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
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