Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
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