I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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