Ambien. No doubt about it.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
FUCK WHALES
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
