so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
