But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Randomize
