Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
