You did not just play the dead husband card again.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
