my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Randomize
