dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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