Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
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