just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
