hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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