Don't make out with my wife yet
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Randomize
