He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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