OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
