I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
My life is pants optional.
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