we have pet lesbian snakes
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
