after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Randomize
