I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
