I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
