the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Randomize